he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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