He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize