try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
