why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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