So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
