that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
