I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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