White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
