We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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