my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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