i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
