You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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