If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
