CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
