Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
