so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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