Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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