Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
