that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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