I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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