Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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