We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
