Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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