bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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