I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
