you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
