you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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