I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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