ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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