So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
