lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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