You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
