The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
