Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
