you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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