I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think your dad took our porno
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
