I wish i was in the wii world.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So. Much. Porn.
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