It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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