Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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