im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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