I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
