Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
