Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
