Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
