Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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