Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
