Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
