I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
