tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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