I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
