I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Houston, we have a squirter
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
