Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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