that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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