What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
