How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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