there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
