when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize