that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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