Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
