and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
